Dating Video

For some reason I’ve forgotten about the internet’s glorious knack for archiving the entire 1990s. Here I am spending night after night mourning the festering shreds of my social life, face glistening with condensation of a thousand cups of instant noodle, when I could have been meeting Danny: the 42 year old lawn care worker.

His vestal sweater is but sick and green
It is the east, and Danny is the sun.
Arise, fair Danny!

“I would like a woman who would like me for who..I am for. Because I have sensitive feelings. I can get my heart broken easily.”

Why Danny I am mildly, if not completely, emotionally shattered at all times! It’s like you’re saying the words that I only think!

“My dream date is a romantic dream date, if I got the met the special one, would be a table on the beach. With roses…”

Danny, can you hear that? That’s the sound of the stars aligning: to the tune of Us. Not only do you share my dream of dream dates that are romantic dream dates, but also my deep affinity for tables of all kinds. Some day I wish to get married on a table.

“The most thing I love about women is that they got a nice attractive legs, nice body, and nice hair, eyes, pretty smile…”

It’s too bad I lost my legs in The Nam 😦 And then there was the horrible night I lost 86% of my face in that car fire. You can hardly see the scarring anymore because my mother knit me a faceplate out of tin. It used to hurt, but now I have the morphine injections. And you.

And the cats.

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About DreadfulBlog
A devilish combination of slightly bored and quite hungry

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